User:AnglicanAkatosh

Item #: SCP-[Redacted]

Object Class: Euclid (pending O5 review for possible Keter reclassification)

Special Containment Procedures

SCP-[Redacted] is currently uncontained and operates openly in the ACNA under the handle "AnglicanAkatosh". Direct interaction is restricted to SCP Foundation webcrawlers and personnel with Level 4 hazard clearance. All attempts at amnestic deployment via DM have failed; subject responds only with animated GIFs of Henry VIII wielding a turkey leg as a sacramental object and the phrase "Cope and seethe, Papist." Mobile Task Force Mu-9 ("Book of Common Prayer Enjoyers") is authorized to monitor the subject's associated Substack for potential reality-deviation events. Should subscriber count exceed 10 or the phrase "Co-Redemptrix" appear in any post, immediate deployment of Class-B mnemonics is to be enacted. Physical manifestation has been reported in the dreams of at least twelve Anglican clergy. Affected individuals wake with an irresistible urge to defend the Thirty-Nine Articles in comment sections.

Description

SCP-[Redacted] is a non-corporeal entity claiming to be Akatosh, Chief Deity of the Aedra in the fictional Elder Scrolls universe, who has inexplicably converted to high-church Anglicanism (Oxford Movement, 39 Articles, 1928 BCP only). The entity exhibits perfect fluency in both Tamrielic dragon language and 17th-century Caroline divinity, often posting in a mixture of the two. Notable anomalous properties include:

• Ability to induce existential despair in Roman Catholics and low-church evangelicals within a 50 meter radius of any device displaying its posts.
• Temporal distortion effect: reading more than three consecutive threads causes the reader to perceive the entire Anglican Communion schism spectrum as a single ontological terror.SCP-[Redacted] maintains a Twitter follower count that fluctuates exactly between 358 and 360 regardless of blocks, reports, or platform-wide purges, suggesting a minor Type-Green reality stabilization anchored to the concept of "the via media."

Addendum [Redacted]-B: Incident Report

On 2025-11-23, SCP-[Redacted] posted a 47-tweet thread arguing that St. Christopher was historically a cynocephalus and that this proves the Anglican doctrine of saints is superior because "we have cryptid saints and you don’t." Thread reached 1.2 million impressions before Twitter's servers briefly displayed the Book of Common Prayer (1928) as the only readable text worldwide for 9 minutes. O5 vote pending on whether to classify this as an NK-class "Gray Swan" ecclesiastical event or simply "Tuesday for the ACNA."

About AnglicanAkatosh

He's been near Sheogorath a bit too long. He's going insane. Also he likes tea. And Dr. Pepper.

Motto: Lex orandi, lex credendi, lex vivendi (Latin: "the law of what is prayed [is] what is believed [is] the law of what is lived")

Work and Interests

• TRUE and HONEST (i.e. Anglican) theology
• History of church architecture
• Forgotten history & legends
• Writing Substack posts on James Ussher and Greek mythology
• Dr. Pepper

External Links

• Website: https://anglicanakatosh.substack.com/
• Twitter (X): https://x.com/AnglicanAkatosh

Contact

Just use my User talk or email me or DM me on Twitter, I don't care. Send a carrier pigeon to my front door if need be. I have all day.